It looks like our How to H series is growing. In our last How to H we talked about improving stalking skills. You’ll be able to put that to the test when you start looking for people to date.

At some point in your life, you will start craving attention from other people.  I know, I know…that sounds odd, but it’s that, one day, twelve hour anime marathons fueled by burritos and booze just won’t do it for you anymore.  That’s where dating comes in.

Dating is a common courtship ritual in societies that allow male and female mingling (or MM or FF or MFM or MMF…etc…).  It’s a surprisingly complex endeavor, but if you follow our simple H-dating rules, you’ll have no problems navigating the in’s and out’s of the dating world.

Getting that first (possibly only) date:

It takes two to tango, as they say. So, your first task is finding someone that you would like to date. Preferably, you should find this person attractive. Physical attractiveness is important, but it isn’t the most important quality that you should be looking for. You want someone who you like, can put up with you, and who likes you, too.

You’re probably wondering who this marvelous individual could be. Chances are that person has already made their feelings known, but you’re just too dense to see it. Don’t worry, you’ll eventually realize that they were dropping clues the entire time. The only problem is that this realization will probably come about ten years late.

Suck it up and find somebody else.  There are common ways of doing this for males and females. In short, the easiest thing to do is just to ask someone you like out.

Small talk:

We date to get to know each other, at its most basic level that is what dating is about. Humans use language to communicate. Language is so fundamental to the human species that learning to speak is literally hardwired into our brain. Basically, talk, you absolutely have to talk. The “what” is the issue here.

Talk about yourself. Your date obviously wants to know about you. So, just spend the entire time letting them know how awesome you are.  Also, tell them about all the anime you watch.

First kiss:

Most humans kiss. It is an entirely natural thing to do. It’s also natural to be a bit nervous about the “first” kiss. Don’t worry, even if you haven’t kissed anyone before, you’ll pick it up rather quickly. If this were a non-H “how-to,” I’d probably make a few recommendations like: start off slow, don’t use too much force, avoid breathing through your mouth, close your damn eyes, don’t lean too much, avoid tongue usage.

However, this is an H how-to; therefore, I’m going to make this one easy on you. Tongue, use the tongue.

Aside:

–Warning–

Listen well, this is very important. Under no circumstances are you to let your date turn into a sports anime.

Intimacy:

At this point, you both have gotten to know each other a little bit more. You’ve shared your first kiss. There are only two courses of action after that. Attack each other like animals in heat or end the date and go home.

Again, this is a easy one.

Conclusion:

Follow these simple rules and you’ll find that your date was a fulfilling experience. Like filling that empty space in your heart you’ve had for so long but were not sure of the cause but only a little.

Dating is intense.

-

Okay, more next week, hopefully.

In our last How to H we laid out three steps to better H’ing. To review: admit, study, and light-touch, which we choose to wrap in the acronym ASLT. An easy way to remember the ASLT is to remember the phrase, “and stuff like that.”

Stalking:

You need to work on your stalking skills. Don’t get me wrong. Stalking isn’t necessarily an H activity. Although, it is recommended that it be in one’s H skillset. Basically, expand your horizons and acquire/improve your abilities. This all falls under the “study” part of our three steps to better H’ing.

Some of you may be asking, “but isn’t stalking illegal?” Well, it depends, really. But, nobody ever got anywhere by following all the rules. Rules are meant to be broken.

Some of you may be asking, “but isn’t that just rationalizing the illegal activity?” Well, yes…moving on.

There is one major issue with stalking. It’s very hard to do without being noticed. That is unless you are a ninja. (as a quick observation, there are three ninja in the above image) As it is that you are not a ninja, there are some simple rules you can follow for better stalking.

You can’t stalk using the entryway to a room. This leaves your rear unguarded. That’s 180 degrees where you may be noticed. walls and corners are your friend. Additionally, you may find yourself noticed because people pay attention to the entry to any room, expecting others will enter through that point. At a basic instinctual level, people will keep track of their environment because they are wary of predators. Knowing this, you should pick a place that isn’t usually trafficked: ceilings, trashcans, bushes (a bit overused, if you ask me),

When “tailing” your target, the idea is to blend in. I cannot stress this enough. Don’t, absolutely don’t, do that tippy-toe sneaking around thing. It’s a dead giveaway. A lot of amateurs do this, and it is entirely irritating to watch. Yes, we can see you. It’s obvious what you are doing.
-

That’s it for today. We’ll have more How to H next week, baring any unforeseen events.

One of the rules of the BSE (until I change my mind) award is that it must be chosen early in the airing of a show. I decided to make this rule, just now, because it seems to fit with what I had done for previous award winners.

B Gata H Kei was in the running against Angel Beats!, but pressure was being put upon the committee to make a decision, because of the rule mentioned earlier.

It may be a little too early to make a clear decision between the two shows. The committee had strong opinions about Angel Beats!. They felt that it had a very good chance of developing a seriously engaging story. Especially, after the excellent showing in episode three. On the other hand, BH has better comedy in all respects, and it has the inept horny female lead angle going for it.

Plus, there is a little god of nookie that is cheering for Yamada all the time. We just loved that.

-

Think of the BSE as the Nobel Peace Prize of anime awards. It’s not necessarily given on merit but in the hopes that it will be earned in the future.

Step 1: Admit you have a problem, an awesome problem…

The first step in H’ing is admitting you’re H. While technically it is possible to H without knowing it, successfully achieving quality H is only really possible if you accept your H-ness.

Step 2: Study

Thomas Edison once said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” Basically, no great person ever endeavored to fail or try. Proper H’ing takes practice. It takes a level of inspiration, but more than anything it is a lot of hard work.

Step 3: H’ing with a light touch

Your first H may be a little underwhelming. Maybe it isn’t H enough. More likely, it was overly H. The problem with beginning H’ers is that they are too eager to prove their H-ness. This isn’t necessary. Properly controlled, a person’s H-ness doesn’t need to be forced.  It becomes a part of their natural aura, permeating everything about them.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of H’ing is that the act of H’ing is something that has to be noticed by others. This isn’t true. There are many happy and productive H’ers out there with friends and family that are totally unaware of their dominate H qualities.

Just remember, H isn’t what you portray to others. H is a personal quality, the choice of letting others in on your H is up to you.

–

That’s it for today. Hopefully, we’ll have more How to H next week.

I’ve been out of the blogging game for a few months, now. It isn’t that I haven’t wanted to blog. Time is simply not on my side. That beast eats so much of my life, ya’ know.

At any rate, to the point of this post. I’ve still been watching the anime. There were some good shows last season: Ladies x Butlers, The Book of Bantorra, Omamori Himari, Chu-bra (kinda). Of course, the last Best Show Ever winner, A Certain Scientific Railgun. BTW, Uiharu won the Best Hair Accessory That May Not Be a Hair Accessory award.

First Up: Angel Beats!

Okay, so this guy apparently dies and awakes in a strange world with a cute girl named Haruhi who is god. Umm…that’s not right. Her name is Yuri, she isn’t god, and she’s dead too. The basic story, follows the SOS brigade group of main characters in the “Afterlife Battlefront” while they try to destroy a mysterious organization, Angel, that may or may not be a single girl who happens to be the student council president.

Oh yeah, that guy I mentioned earlier, he lost his memory so he doesn’t know anything about anything at all. Also, he dies a few more times after waking up (Beat to Death Angel Dokuro-chan style).

Second: B Gata H Kei

Okay, so there is this really cute girl who every boy in school wants to go out with. The only problem is that she is a neurotic mess fixated on losing her virginity. She hides it well. Only her closest friends and family know about her secret obsession with sex. Despite her willingness, she has unfounded body image issues centered around her, for lack of better words, happy place. So, she decides to target a plain looking guy who couldn’t possibly see her in any other light than perfection, because he’s a virgin like her.

Normally, the ecchi factor of this show would make it a hard sell to the Best Show Ever committee. However, the first episode was more funny than ecchi, and it looks to be pushing a romantic aspect of the storyline, which garnered it points.

We will see.

—

Edit:  Holy crap, I just found out Angel Beats! has an exclamation point in the name! You know how I feel about shows with exclamation points! They’re totally awesome and not overused at all!

Also, corrected the name…