I was talking with a co-worker the other day about nescient youth and eventual bumpy rise to a professional career.  I’m probably one of the youngest among my team of co-workers and even the larger organization. I’ve always felt older than I am. So, it’s a bit odd to be surrounded by people who have two or three times the life experience. In some cases, those co-workers have decades more work experience (in the same field), than I.

While talking to my fellow worker, it happened that we had similar stories about working our way through university, about leaving friends behind, and about moving forward. One striking similarity came up that has stuck with me, from that conversation. Neither of us had anything we could consider a mentor or role model.

At the time, when I was younger, it never occurred to me that I needed someone to offer direction.  In my mind I was capable enough. I knew the direction I wanted to go, and I was headed that way. Be that as it may, looking back on my younger days I can’t really say that I was all that directed or all that motivated. Explicitly, I lacked any real direction or drive. It was something I had to find later.

It isn’t like I’m all that experienced now, either. There are differences, though. I have more history, knowledge, and have grown much since that time. As a youth, I lived life as it was presented to me and mistook making choices of the options given to me as directing my own path. But, flowing through life like the winding trails of rain water is not to be mistaken for making important life decisions. It is a childish way of living.

Now that many of the decisions that I had made as a younger me have largely played out their resultant effects. I can reflect on the outcome. The time spend wisely and wasted is clearly visible to me know.  The bad decisions as well as the good are so much more distinct from each other. More than anything, I’ve come to the point that I know that there is so much more that I don’t know. Truly understanding that concept took too long in my opinion.

Now, I can honestly say, I wish I had a mentor when I was younger. I really do. My pride, probably, would have never let me say something like that not too long ago. For a time, I saw my solo adventure through colleges, jobs, and relationships as a badge of honor. Those things were a testament to my talent and drive. It was a big “fuck you” to all those people who tried to hold me back or didn’t think I could do it.  I can see that it merited very little for me.

Life is all about choices. One absolutely has to make those choices on their own, or it isn’t really worth living. Life is also about making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, and using that knowledge later. However, it isn’t a bad thing to have a map of the possible troubles along life’s routes.

That’s what a mentor should be. They are the map. Not necessarily, a map of the route from A to Z. They are a map for any direction or road you wish to take. They can tell you were the bridges are or where the rivers run. You can visit the mountains or the plains, and your map will help you get there. It can’t and won’t tell you the best way or the only way, but it will help get you there.

The younger me really wishes for a mentor.