It looks like our How to H series is growing. In our last How to H we talked about improving stalking skills. You’ll be able to put that to the test when you start looking for possibly people to date.

At some point in your life, you will start craving attention from other people.  I know, I know…that sounds odd, but it’s that, one day, twelve hour anime marathons fueled by burritos and booze just won’t do it for you anymore.  That’s where dating comes in.

Dating is a common courtship ritual in societies that allow male and female mingling (or MM or FF or MFM or MMF…etc…).  It’s a surprisingly complex endeavor, but if you follow our simple H-dating rules, you’ll have no problems navigating the in’s and out’s of the dating world.

Getting that first (possibly only) date:

It takes two to tango, as they say. So, your first task is finding someone that you would like to date. Preferably, you should find this person attractive. Physical attractiveness is important, but it isn’t the most important quality that you should be looking for. You want someone who you like, can put up with you, and who likes you, too.

You’re probably wondering who this marvelous individual could be. Chances are that person has already made their feelings known, but you’re just too dense to see it. Don’t worry, you’ll eventually realize that they were dropping clues the entire time. The only problem is that this realization will probably come about ten years late.

Suck it up and find somebody else.  There are common ways of doing this for males and females. In short, the easiest thing to do is just to ask someone you like out.

Small talk:

We date to get to know each other, at its most basic level that is what dating is about. Humans use language to communicate. Language is so fundamental to the human species that learning to speak is literally hardwired into our brain. Basically, talk, you absolutely have to talk. The “what” is the issue here.

Talk about yourself. Your date obviously wants to know about you. So, just spend the entire time letting them know how awesome you are.  Also, tell them about all the anime you watch.

First kiss:

Most humans kiss. It is an entirely natural thing to do. It’s also natural to be a bit nervous about the “first” kiss. Don’t worry, even if you haven’t kissed anyone before, you’ll pick it up rather quickly. If this were a non-H “how-to,” I’d probably make a few recommendations like: start off slow, don’t use too much force, avoid breathing through your mouth, close your damn eyes, don’t lean too much, avoid tongue usage.

However, this is an H how-to; therefore, I’m going to make this one easy on you. Tongue, use the tongue.

Aside:

–Warning–

Listen well, this is very important. Under no circumstances are you to let your date turn into a sports anime.

Intimacy:

At this point, you both have gotten to know each other a little bit more. You’ve shared your first kiss. There are only two courses of action after that. Attack each other like animals in heat or end the date and go home.

Again, this is a easy one.

Conclusion:

Follow these simple rules and you’ll find that your date was a fulfilling experience. Like filling that empty space in your heart you’ve had for so long but were not sure of the cause but only a little.

Dating is intense.

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Okay, more next week, hopefully.