For all intents and purposes the end of the year is an arbitrary dividing line. Every year, month, day, hour, minute, even second is simply an edifice created by someone long ago. I’ve often wondered if we use representations of time to guide us to the future or mark the past. It would seem to be the ladder. I think it really depends on the person.

Despite all the talk I have done about moving and searching for a purpose, it is at these invisible markers in time that I cannot keep myself from looking back. Every year I look back and see what I have accomplished and I’m usually less than impressed. In particular this year has been one of intense introspection.

Many of the people I know are moving along and often surpassing the expectations that they put upon themselves. Are they low expectations? Or is it that they have something that I lack.

It’s not jealousy or envy. I look back and see what I’ve done and in a way it is a bit of a consolation that something was accomplished, but those paths not take or ideas not composed tend to haunt me.

There is nothing I can do but move on into the next year and work toward another. The worst thing that could happen is failure. The best that can happen is that I find my limits because at least if it’s something that inherently I cannot do, I can live with it.

If it’s something I simply did not do. It becomes a sealed box that will forever remained locked away from my grasp. I’ll never know what was in it. I’ll never know what was in me, fore that one sealed box represents part of myself that I will never see.

Life is a box.

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While this post can be read alone, the train of thought actually started a month ago.

Op Ed – Free time and hearing voices – Nov 30

The world is a mirror / Life is a box – Dec 11

The Distance Between u and i – Dec 22

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To tell you the truth, I like writing post like this because they allow me to flesh out my thought process. Much of what I write isn’t as mentally coherent until I put it down on paper, and it still remains a little incoherent afterward. I feel that it comes off as pretentious so I usually stick to fanboying.

Overall, it was a good “anime” year. There were good shows and I enjoyed many of them. I have stated several times (I’m not the only one) that it is getting harder to find shows that I can connect with, and that is true but the anime is not at fault because the problem is with me, my views or prospective.

If you hadn’t guessed, my pick for best anime 2006 was Honey & Clover. The original H&C aired in 2005 according to ANN, but since the second season ended this year I’m going to give it a hold over win. It’s not fair, but I never said I was fair.

One can argue the points on any work of art and it may not touch another individual they way it touches someone else. For instance, I found H&C to be a very good show. Why? Because it made me think and feel. It brought thoughts and emotions that were unique to me to the forefront.

That’s what I want in any work of art, nothing more.

BTW, it’s fine if you didn’t like it, no problem, but I would like to ask you one question. What it’s like to have no heart?

I’m done here, I’ll be taking a break see you next year. . .