Friends I write this post today with a sunken heart. Fore as my time as an anime watching man has been only a short part of this life, but I have enjoyed it so. It started with cult favorite shows Tenchi Muyo! and Gundam Wing. I was soon watching shows with a more artistic bent such as the admirable Kino’s Journey, His and Her Circumstances, and Neon Genesis.

However, as I watch some of my favorite shows for this season I notice a steady stream of lolis forthcoming. Every show seems to be filled with them. There are the quite ones and the hyper ones. In some shows there entire cast is composed of them. They are sad things bartering on their cuteness, with scarcely anything else of value to anyone. Those of them who have parents, to them, they must surly be a burden.…(more)…

I think we are all in agreement that the current state is far from optimal. The sheer number of lolis has become a burden to our societies. The cost of feeding, clothing, and teaching them is extraordinary. In some instances, the cost in cake alone is staggering. Many noble peoples have strived to help them in the past and currently, but it is often a lost cause. In some cases the less desirables of our populous find them first. It is only a downward spiral from there. They are left to be traded amongst the scoundrels and most beastly of men. Those that find a way to survive often turn a violent path. Surely, there must be a way to find some measure to make them beneficent to society. If anyone should dare a proposal to cure this ill, then hasten them a gold trophy in their honor.

As I am a just and honorable person and would never think of gain for myself. I do not intend to have my arguments only valid for the lolis, but for all of society and its people, it will raise them. We will aid them, their family, and the people with a modest solution.

I have thought long and hard to contrive such a solution that everyone shall benefit from it. I have had long discussions with peers and weighted the pros and cons of such arguments to this single conclusion. The single main problem with lolis is that they scarcely age. They produce little or nothing and live off the charity of those less lolish in nature. As I mentioned they barter their cuteness. It is in such a way that they become the burden that they are now. So, I propose to offer for them such a course as to be a benefit for the populous; so that they may not need to be a burden to the people, their families, and the future. So that they may not want of food, cloth, or cake. So that they may not be changed into super-loli killing machines. No, I propose that they truly be a source of a bright future for us all.

There are dozens of series released each season. Today each series possesses a loli of some sort that the plot must account for usually to the very end. I submit that there is a production of lolis in the range of thirty or forty per season. Given that there are usually about three seasons (including summer) per year, we are left with a gross (neglecting loli on loli homicide) of some one hundred and twenty lolis. If we then add to that figure the increasingly exponential production of manga lolis and fanart produced lolis, then we soon see how we came to such a pitiful state.

It is this constant flooding of lolism and uber-cuteness that is suffocating productions that do not pander to it. What is left for the less loli of the lolis as the newer seasons produce more loli that are lolier, it’s sheer madness!

I have been assured by a most educated and plump English fellow that a loli, already having out lived its series, will make for a most tasty, moist, and nutritious meal. Apparently, it is almost impossible to ruin a loli dish whether boiled, fried, simmered, stewed, BBQ’ed, or sushi-like. I would even venture to guess that it would make an excellent addition to a goulash or as a side dish with fettuccine and alfredo sauce.

I, with all possible modesty, do submit to the most honorable and knowledgeable patrons of this blog that given the previously calculated number, we take a fraction of 40% to be left primed and cultured for future generations. The remaining 60% should be sold to persons of quality and stature in the community. A decently plump loli has a surprising amount of meat, and is well suited to produce, at a minimum, two or three succulent dishes. I have been informed that the liver is excellent with a bottle of kiante.

I dare say that this food will be very popular, especially amongst the more ravenous otaku. Loli will be in season all year round and with a marked increase during the summer months. Of course the loss of historical loli to occupy that particular otaku niche will be gone some. So there appears to be one more advantage. That is it will lessen the annoying loli ogling that often follows a popular series.

A very dear friend of mine had suggest an amendment to my plan that I, with all humble adjourn, was eventually forced to review. He being the owner of a small firm dedicated to the construction of buildings, streets, and all manner of such will soon be loosing his most cherished, loyal, and cheap immigrant labor. He proposed that a short part of the 60% should be sold as labor and when finally worn, processed for the consumption of good peoples. While my friends initiative is unique and also totally self satisfying. I have been informed that the loli meat produced through hard labor is nay tasty in the least. Its aroma is diminished and the flavor is reduced. Also, the once tender and juicy flesh is turned into a rough and most disagreeable texture.

With the reduction in the population of lolis we will be spared the sights of lolis wandering the streets. Lolis killing mindlessly in the alleyways of our dear cities. No, the lolis will be happy and peaceful, because we can finally give them status that they deserve. The flood of lolism will be over and they will return to the unique aspect of anime that they once were.

Surely, there is not a man or woman—or loli—among yea whom could argue against the merits of this grand scheme of mine. Fore the betterment of all otaku and the just treasure that is anime, I do propose this. Surely, there is no other plan that has been put upon the minds of the peoples to be judged. I having spent a total sum of some thirty minutes on this plan, and I do see it fit to present to you the people of my community. Let none amongst you who hath not proposed some measure of competence be the judge of such a visionary vision of sightlines.

Let me assure the most doubtful among you that I have no promise or fathom a price that will be paid to me for this work most needed. My motive is pure and just and I lay this at the feet of my humble patrons so that you may take it to your consideration.